School, Loss, and... Metroid?

For those keeping track, I download Super Metroid for the Wii's Virtual Console (I felt bad, having never played such a 'classic') and didn't regret it. The game is great, even for someone who doesn't necessarily like the genre, and I even beat it in under 7 hours (hey, 6:59 counts as "under"!). I don't think I'll ever try to beat it in under 3 (needed to get the "best" ending), but it was definitely a very enjoyable experience. That aside, on to more "important" things.

Georgia Tech is officially back in session for my (now final) semester and things are looking... interesting, to say the least. Our Senior design project has somehow become my brainchild (this can't be a good thing) and is definitely going to be fun to make (although it may take a lot of work). Internetwork Security (a.k.a. hacking) will either destroy me because I don't know enough networking or prove to be the best elective class I've ever taken. PUBP 4803 (regulations) is kind of interesting, but with 100+ pages a week to read I'm definitely swimming in text. PST 3127 (humanities, technology and ethics... or something like that anyway) looks to be an easy course, with <50 style="FONT-STYLE: italic">know that she understood less than half of the stuff I told her she always sounded so impressed or thrilled at what I was doing. She would never bug me about women, money, about "being sociable" or any of that other stuff that (I think) most people get from their parents. Instead, she would just be interested in exactly the things that interested me, and it gave me someone to springboard ideas and thoughts off of without worry for negative reactions or "well what I meant was..." double-back explanations.

Then she got really ill starting in Februrary or so, and when I would call she would often be sleeping or unable to muster the strength to talk. But she would always make sure that my grandfather (or whomever had answered) put the phone up to her ear so she could at least hear my voice. She had a few weeks where she was really feeling good, and would actually be able to talk, but it wasn't many. It was then I realized just what she - and in turn, I - were really going through.

By June, she was gone. It seemed like such a long time that we were making hospital visits, or coming over just to see that she was trying to sleep because she didn't sleep well that night. With my family around me, the only hard times were the funeral. With enough people around - and enough work to be done - I really never thought about what I was missing until now. I even catch myself sometimes wanting to pick up the phone and let her know of something that was going on - of scholarships and friends, or of academics and work - but I can't.

So while I can highly suggest that you spend the time with those closest to you while you still have it, I know that when the time comes, it won't really matter (except to ease feelings of guilt, perhaps). It'll be hard, and perhaps it won't hit you right away... but one day, you'll stumble into it and then it's just a giant, uncontrollable flood. That's not to say it's all bad... after all, she is in a "better place" and, one day, I hope to see her again. But "one day" just doesn't cut it when it isn't "today".

So, in acknowledgment of her birthday, I felt I should do something. One day I plan to finish the last puzzle I bought her and hang it in a frame, but what better way to let a loved one live on than to acknowledge that they are gone? It sounds backwards, I know, but to really remember all that she meant to me helps me to remember that I am where I am - and who I am - because of all the things she has done for me. And it's time to show her, wherever she is, that she will always be remembered and always be loved. I wish I had more time with her in this life, and it definitely makes me regret going to school so far away and not getting to come home as often, but I will always have the wonderful stories and great memories of the time we did spend together.

So, Grandma, for your birthday: Thank You. You meant so much to me. I miss you.