On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Awesome

Sometimes, when a game franchise switches developers mid-stream, things go awry. It just isn't as good anymore. Things are different for no good reason. New gimmicks are introduced. It just doesn't work.

Penny Arcade's On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness 3 is the exception.

The first two episodes looked pretty good, yes. All the concept art came directly from the source and was turned into pretty backgrounds and character designs by professional animators. You (yes, you) were even a player in the game! Personally, though, I always thought the best part of the first two games was the writing, which came straight from the source, unfiltered. As a result, the games are intensely funny. However, I never thought they were really terribly great games. The combat was repetitive and a tad boring, and I thought the attempts to inject action-RPG elements into the game always fell a bit flat.

That said, I think I speak for both proprietors of this here blog when I say that we were kind of disappointed that the third game apparently wasn't going to come out. Hothead (the previous developer) and Penny Arcade had, uh, differences and they split up. Making up for it, PA published what is essentially a novelization of the plot of the third game online. (As one might guess, that link is pretty much 100% spoilers.)

And then, a simple page appeared in our programs at PAX 2011.

It was like this, except there wasn't a date on it yet.

Could it be? Yes, it was. And now it is. Zeboyd Games is pretty much two dudes who develop retro-style console RPGs with modern sensibilities. Though I was not familiar with their previous work, I had at least heard of it from hanging out on the Penny Arcade forums, which is where they started their enterprise. Suffice it to say, these dudes have a healthy respect for the source material.

This game picks up where the 2nd left off. The player is no longer represented in the game with a character, and there is no way to import your character into the new generation of games. Like I said, since to me the best part of the previous games was the writing, I don't view this as a terribly big loss. Speaking of which, the writing is great in this game too, as it's pure Tycho (Jerry Holkins). The story that I linked to above was expanded, messages, and adapted for the game by Tycho, and all the other text you need for a game (item descriptions, flavor text, etc.) were also written by the man himself. Suffice it to say, this is the funniest game I have played since the last Rain Slick game. (Yes, Portal 2 was funny, but there's something about poking fun at RPG tropes while playing a RPG to be really hilarious.)

I've basically been paying for Tycho's writing for years by purchasing all the Penny Arcade books, so I would basically like anything that had most of the text written by him. However, unlike the first two games, this game is also fun.

Okay, yes, there's a bit of grinding in some places, but that's part and parcel of the retro feel. The vast majority of the game aims to recreate the experience of the 16-bit SNES heyday of the console RPG. However, there are modern sensibilities. The squad regains their health after every battle, for instance. There is a pretty cool class system, allowing each character in the party to have up to two sub-classes. (Examples of classes in the game include "slacker", "cordwainer", and "hobo".) These sub-classes grant additional actions and abilities.

Items work in a similar manner. Items have two sorts of upgrades: quantity (the number of times per battle the item can be used) and quality (the level of the item). Characters can also use magic, as dictated by their classes. Every battle turn each character gains 1MP, with various items and abilities allowing one to gain MP more quickly. The turn systems itself is worthy of note, more akin to something one would find in a modern RPG. All characters and enemies appear on a timeline, with two parts: waiting to get an action, and then shortly afterward, actually doing said action. The key drama here is whether one's speedier characters can pass enemies before they act. There is also one sub-class that can manipulate the flow of action, such as kicking enemies out the short period between when they enter and action and before they act on it. I know this sounds complicated, but it works pretty well in practice. And, most importantly, it's a lot of fun.

And as previously said, I didn't really say "fun" in relation to the gameplay in the first two games a whole lot.

Many folks would pay $25 for a game like this. More would pay $15. What if I said this game was only $4.99 though? That's a downright steal. Even better, it's on Steam and XBox Live Arcade.

asim's "tl;dr" summary: This game is more fun than many games that cost 12 times as much. There's almost nothing to lose by getting this game and it's the most intentionally funny game that's come out since the last Rain Slick game.

Other stuff: Yeah, I was going to write a Mass Effect 3 review. But it might be awhile before I'm ready to approach that minefield again. Not sure how much there's left to say about it at this point. It was sort of like that Steven Spielberg move A.I.. It was really good until the last 45 minutes.

Reap on Ye Reaper Man

*** BEWARE! Here there be spoilers!!  ***

(Note: I began writing this after completing ME3 and before the release of the extended edition, so I just left my thoughts on the original ending in place instead of redoing it AGAIN. Those who know how long it takes me to do these and yet still read these for whatever reason will appreciate that).

After having a few discussions with friends, I'm getting to the point that I feel speaking about Mass Effect 3 as a whole is becoming increasingly unavoidable. The amount of forum discussions (or, more appropriately, whining), press, and commentators taking shots at it is starting to get at me.

If you remember my Mass Effect 2 Review, I gave the game pretty high praise overall, and for good reason. Even after another playthrough in prep for ME3, ME2 remains extremely compelling and continues to prove it's worth as one of the best games of this generation.

ME3 is largely the same, with a few hit-or-miss tweaks thrown in to try and fix what was "broken" in  the previous game. Some things that it does get right it does quite well: the weapon upgrade system is a welcome improvement from ME2 without being the confusing, inventory-crushing mess from the first game. Each weapon type (pistol, shotgun, smg, etc) have several different guns to choose from, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. You can buy better versions of specific weapons to improve their overall stats (weigh less, more accurate, etc) as well as add in 2 'mods' that allow you to more drastically change their usage. Maybe you want that shotgun increase your melee damage capabilities, just in case husks get a bit too close for comfort, while someone else might just want their shots to pierce through more armor. The system allows for a fair number of combos that really help you work with your class and preferred playstyle.

There is an even bigger choice when choosing weapons this time around, in that the amount of 'weight' you carry directly affects your power cooldown rates. So any class - not just a soldier - can load themselves up with all 5 weapons and go to town, but an adept's biotic powers will be significantly impaired. Unfortunately, I find that the balance tends to skew a bit too much towards going as light as possible: you can carry an SMG, pistol and assault rifle and still be near the 200% cooldown reduction mark, making powers EXTREMELY quick to fire off. Giving them even just a moderate number of skill points makes many of them very powerful, and since powers do not have "ammo" and weapons do, it helps to encourage really relying on your power pool to burn through enemy units. Having power cooldowns be a bit longer would've made them feel less 'spammy' and made the choice to use a power feel more impactful (going back to the 'infinite ammo' model from the ME1 days might have helped too).

Some 'improvements', however, feel more like a step backwards than a step forwards. I never thought they could make a system even less engaging than the planet scanning system from ME2, but I was very wrong. After spending a few attempts at randomly 'pinging' planets in ME3 and constantly hearing the LOUD BLARE REAPERS INCOMING! sound over and over, I was ready to go back to ME2 planet scanning just for some peace of mind. It doesn't help that this system is propped up almost entirely upon checkbox-style fetch quests that have no real gameplay on offer. Some of them even talk like perhaps they had been planned out as real missions at one point (please, we need you to go down to our planet and save our people!) but end up being nothing more than pressing down a single button to complete it.

The cover system also is starting to feel a little bloated and unwieldy, especially since so many actions are mapped to the same button. Take cover, jump, dodge, revive, sprint and vault are all mapped exactly the same and I often times found myself doing one of them when I really meant to do another one (like taking cover instead of reviving a companion, or vice versa). There are also several problems with cover as a whole, like some areas that appear to have space for you to shoot over but don't allow it, or cover that you look around and it points you straight into another object that blocks most of your abilities and shots. The over-abundance of grenades on harder single player difficulties also makes cover more frustrating than fun, as trying to find a place to reload or regen shields that isn't bathed in bullets means you are instantly greeted with 5 perfectly thrown grenades, ready to flush you back out into the shooting gallery. I understand you might want to make players shake things up and prevent turtling or overly-defensive play, but making your game utilize cover mechanics with such importance and then constantly punishing your players for using it doesn't seem like a very good use of the system.

The single player game was overall very impressive, but definitely left me scratching my head a few times. On one hand, the level of detail and amount of 'fan service', cameos, tie-ins and connections to previous Mass Effect games and decisions is absolutely astonishing. In fact, so much content is connected to previous games in some way that the 'new' characters and are few, far and in between and feel overall much weaker. While every decisions you ever made may not end up being the butterfly effect that destroys entire worlds, many of them come back to change small things or, at "worst", be mentioned in a few lines of dialogue. This, in and of itself, is incredible to me: the number of potential permutations is astonishing and really helps to reinforce that this is YOUR game, not anyone else's. (More on this later, as this is by and large the reason I wanted to write this review) The single player game took me over 50 hours to complete on the hardest difficulty (which was slightly easier than an ME2 insanity playthrough), so the content on offer here is very substantial.

On top of single player of course is the multiplayer addition, which surprisingly does not feel as lame or tacked on as I thought it would be. The idea is relatively simple - a very basic 'horde mode' type gameplay with different potential enemy types, maps, and difficulties to choose from - but is layered with interesting choices in terms of your chosen class, weapons, and mods. Unfortunately, the whole multiplayer affair seems to be designed as a long-term monetization scheme, relying on a 'booster pack' system to unlock new weapons, characters, mods and powerups. You can unlock them all simply by playing the game, but chances at rare items will require you to beat 3-4 missions to afford enough in game currency for one 'pack', meaning you'll be puting in hundreds of hours into the game just to try and unlock one specific item or class that you'd really like to play. I would've preferred a system where you can just buy whatever specific item you'd like, but then again I've never liked the 'booster pack' mentality in any form. I suppose there is some portion of our brains that loves that RNG, lottery-style system of acquiring upgrades, but having to play for several hours just to buy a chance at an item really kills it for me.

I also wish that the classes would've been treated like they are in single player, where you start with half your skills and earn the second half through leveling, as starter characters are EXTREMELY weak due to having almost no skill points. It takes being almost level 12 or 13 before you start seeing your powers and weapons have significant effect on enemies, and while you do level relatively fast if you do well, having to be ineffectual in 1-2 games just to get to the point you can be useful just does not feel very cool. And while we're on the topic of character powers, why can you not remap them? Some characters have the same abilities mapped to different buttons, and it becomes VERY CONFUSING swapping between them.

Overall, I'd say multiplayer was a welcome addition to the game, but I'd like to have seen it be used a bit less as a post-retail monetization scheme and more about getting to fight big waves of enemies with your friends. Also, let's be a little less brutal on the galactic readiness decay next time, ok?

So we've established that the game is a very strong entry into the series, chock full of some amazing content and, while not perfect, definitely worth a playthrough. So why did I feel so strongly about writing this if it's nothing more than a strong-but-not-stellar entry into a popular franchise you've probably played already anyway? Simple: the overly dramatic fan response to the ending. I have it on top of the review, but I'll put it here again just to make sure you are really interested in continuing on, full spoilt.



*** BEWARE! Here there be spoilers!!  ***


I've heard many complaints about the ending, and while some are definitely valid (the ending is somewhat confusing and disappointing), I think by and large they miss the mark/point and take a very narrow minded approach to defining the 'ending' and band wagoning has taken it to even greater whiney heights than it really deserves. Allow me to do what I can to explain why I'm disappointed - but not RAWRRAWRRAWR ANGRY - at the game's ending by going through some of their major complaints.


1) Normandy/Squadmates escape through a mass effect jump
This one resonates the most with me, because I asked myself the same question as I watched it. A team member who was on the grund with me ended up on the normandy, taking a mass effect jump as it was 'blowing up', and ends up on the random planet with joker/. While it is not explicitly explained how much time it takes to perform the final sequences of ME3 after you get hit by the giant reaper lazer beam (so technically this is possible, if not still questionable), it seems unlikely that the normandy would reroute to earth, pick up your squadmates that more or less abandoned the cause at the "all or nothing" moment (or were somehow incapacitated with you and saved by someone??) and then proceeds to fly away while the rest of the fleet still fights off the reapers. This one's for the angry people, because I definitely agree these actions don't seem to fit in even the craziest of theories.

2) Mass Effect Relay destruction is supposed to cause total system annihilation!
This one I don't agree with at all. The argument here is that in ME2's DLC 'Arrival', you destroy a mass effect relay and that ends up causing the entire system to be wiped out. However, not only does ONE event not a pattern make, but the ways in which they are destroyed are very different. In arrival, you destroy a mass effect relay by running an asteroid into it. This is a completely uncontrolled, brute force method that has (predictably) unintended consequences. Whatever causes the relayed to stop functioning in ME3 is NOT, in any way, required to have the same side effects. It is roughly equivalent to saying that because you ran a train into your car to stop and the car exploded, turning the keys to the 'off' position will also cause the car to explode. No points for the whiners on this one.


3) Entire races are stranded and this is completely ignored!
This is a little of yes and a little of no. It is true that the fleets of many of these races are now stranded in the Sol system, but it can be presumed all fleets (except probably the quarians) are not the entirety of those races. They have a chance to continue living on their own home planets regardless of where the bulk of their military force is now caught.

While it is true we don't know what happens to the fleet that gets stranded, I'm somewhat glad we don't. The amount of things that could happen there is extremely numerous (especially given your actions in the game), and I'd rather be involved in that playing out than just watching it happen in some kind of CGI or conversation. However, none of this has anything to do with the main point of the three mass effect stories - the reapers - and really acts as additional dénouement to Shepard's final actions, but I'm not too torn up that it is left out. I can see some people wanting to know, but honestly you could go down that road for a LONG time before everything was finally wrapped up in a neat little bow. Sometimes it's just better to let people imagine the details while you fill in the major events. We'll call this one even, though, just to be fair to those who might have specific major events or characters they would've liked to see wrapped up a bit more nicely.

4) War Assests don't matter!
This is also tricky. They do matter (it can change potential ending options and even the eventual fate of earth), but it probably feels very ineffective compared to the amount of 'options' presented in ME2. 

5) None of my choices matter!
This is probably one of the more offensive complaints. If you think none of your choices matter because everything doesn't get plugged into some equation and directly affect the games "ending", then you clearly weren't paying attention to the entire rest of the game when choices you made not only in this game but also in previous ones made direct impacts to the events, stories, and even well-being of both your squadmates and the galaxy at large. You decide how to cure the Genophage, you decide how to deal with the Quarians and Geth, you decide how to deal with Cerberus... the list is pretty substantial. Honestly, I think that if you treat the entirety of Mass Effect 3 as 'the ending' (which, given the context of the events relative to the entirety of the story, it kind of is) then there are many subplots that are resolved almost exclusively by your action(s).

6) But the ending is just a giant Deus Ex Machina!
This is also a frustrating excuse. Did you not pay attention to the first part of the game? Your character stumbles face-first into a magical device that is supposed to be the Prothean's secret answer to beating the reapers, and you spend the entirety of the game chasing down some completely arbitrary solution that is conveniently never mentioned before in any other game despite the Reaper menace being very real and very known (by you and several others) throughout the entire series. Why is this wordlessly accepted at face value, but then seeing solution being some thing we've never seen before (which, duh) cause such vitriol? I vividly remember thinking to myself at about the hour 2 or 3 mark that I felt this would be a pretty sad way to end the series by just building some kind of special device that just hands me the victory after fighting on the ground against reaper agents all these years... so by that standard, the ending is actually a kind of improvement (yes, it still just wins it for me, but I had to fight tooth and nail to get it all back and ended up having an option of how to win and what that would mean). Point here is, yes, the ending can be viewed as a giant Deus Ex Machina, but then you're really just saying that the whole game is one.


There is more, but at this point, it does seem rather moot. Bioware released an 'extended cut' that very likely makes none of the haters happy and adds nothing of significant value to those who thought it was fine before (aside from longer, unnecessary ending sequences) and the whole thing has kind of died down. But when I sit down and look and see people trying to sue Bioware for 'false advertising' or report them to the BBB (or, worse, voting EA into the golden poo award simply for a lackluster ending to a video game), I really have to wonder where some of you people place your priorities. Or maybe I'm just not as diehard into games and needing closure to all my fantasy universes to be as perfect as I can pretend imagine it. I will say good on those who voiced their complaints or wrote about their dissatisfaction in a way that the developer can use and take with them to make their next series better.

It may not have been a perfect ending, and I'll certainly add my voice to those of us worried about it happening because it was rushed versus just trying something new, but to let the (relatively unimportant) final 10 minutes of a game ruin an otherwise amazing 150 hour trilogy because the known end goal (beat the reapers, save the galaxy!) was not well executed just seems.... unfortunate. If you've played ME1 and ME2, get ME3, enjoy ME3, and then *maybe* be disappointed at how it all ends. You'll still enjoy the 50 hours it took you to get there, that is almost guaranteed.